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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 

The Dream II - I won't be afraid to say it again

And he stood and went to where the others . I thought he left because I annoyed him. But he just placed his guitar there and came back. He came back to where I was and smiled as he said,

“Just like old times…”

And he sat beside me. At first, we were just sitting there. His silence prolonged. I couldn’t say anything because I was afraid of offending him and make him leave for sure. Then, he spoke.

“I still can’t forget you…”

And he took a deep breath and sighed. I couldn’t make anything of what he said. Nor could I ask what he meant.

Then he continued. It was strange that he talked that way. I couldn’t understand what he was saying. Until I heard him say,

“I still love you…”

My heart pounded after hearing what he said. But I couldn’t think of anything to say. My thoughts were shut at that moment, that I couldn’t answer him back. I couldn’t accept hearing those words again. Especially from him. And I couldn’t bare listen to another word he said. I just can’t.

I tried to look at him. But he wasn’t looking at me. He was staring at the moon-lit shore. Then I saw something shining slide down his cheek. It was a tear. And his tears fell. More and more as he continued to speak.

Then I remembered what I told him before. How can I forget? I wanted to say something. I wanted his tears to stop falling. But I was afraid of the fact that I’ll hurt him more. All I can do is to let him cry, to ease his pain.

And he stopped. But he kept silent. He didn’t say a word after that. And I remembered what I told him before.

“We can only be friends…”

But what I meant by that was if it’d be us, then it will be.

I’ve never seen him look as sad as he did that night. And it mortifies me to have not said anything to ease his pain.

I asked him to sleep. And he looked at me and sighed. Then he closed his eyes and slowly laid down. I stood and fetched a blanket from my bag. I hurriedly went back to him so he wouldn’t be so sound asleep. I saw him sitting up, looking once again at that moon-lit shore.

I unfolded the blanket behind him and I asked him to sleep once more. I was sitting on the blanket when he stood up. He turned around, looked at me, and smiled as he said,

“I still love you… and I always will.”

I almost forgot that he had just cried, because of the look in his face. I can say that he was happy by the way that he looked at me. He was happy like he has never been so all his life.

Then he laid beside me, and closed his eyes. The blanket was big enough for the two of us, that I pulled its side and tucked him in.

I stared at his face as he slept so soundly. Then my heart pounded when I saw his lips show a faint smile, as if he knows that I was staring at him. I knew that he was sleeping because he didn’t feel my hand when I touched his face. He looked different that night. Even though he was sleeping, I knew that he looked different. I haven’t seen his face like that even when we were together.

I felt my heart beat rise, as I stared at him. Looking at him, I felt an urge to…

But I didn’t. I was afraid of waking him up. Instead, I snuggled beside him, and whispered to his ear.

“I love you too… I love you too…"

And I felt something warm slide down to my lips. I don’t know if he heard what I said. All I know is that when he wakes up, I wont be afraid to say it again.


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to be continued...

Continuation of "The Dream" series

still dated June 30, 2004

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